Tales from the East - Episode 3: Sex city

This ought to be the real name for Bangkok (BKK).

The city simply oozes sex. Everything revolves around the sex industry. It seeps into every brick and bone of the city and materializes like sweet on your forehand on a warm humid day. The city is not as such decadent though as this industry is firmly aimed at the tourists. And unfortunately it is more than a little complicated to not look like one sporting pale skin and blue eyes.

You can't take a cab without getting strip-joint brochures thrown in the face. You can't take a tuktuk without a lengthy argument about whether or not they will take you to the nearest brothel. You can't walk the malls without strangers approaching you with offers on sex-toys. You can't even have a chat with your associate professor about Thai-boxing without him sneaking in a reply about where he knows a certain lady that entertains him now and then and who happens to also have a 'daughter' if we would be interested. YES - our professor! Rather hard to keep focus at his lecture on wastewater treatment 5 minutes later when all that echoes through your mind is his thinly veiled proposal...

Yet he managed to step it up one notch. The course was concluded with a magnificent riverboat dinner. When we disembarked he asked us where we were going now that the course was finished knowing we had another week before leaving for Malaysia. The conversation went something like this.
Professor: "Hi boys. Good food, yes?
Me: "Yeah, that was nice. Cool trip. Cool to see the city from the river at dark".
P: "So where you go now? For holiday?"
M: "No, we probably just stay here in Bangkok. We haven't had the chance to see very much of the city during the course"
P: "Going to Pattaya. Yeees! Good place. Lots of girls. Beautyful girls.Yes." (Pattaya is a beach close to BKK even more soaked in the sex industry - where BKK at least pretends to uphold a façade, Pattaya has totally given in).
M: "No - not Pattaya. We stay here in Bangkok to see some more of the city. Can you rec... [P interrupts - obviously taken in with his prime suggestion]
P: "Pattaya good. Cheap girls [wink and BIG smile]"
M: "Eeerm. Ok. But we stay in Bangkok. We don't want to travel that much for just a week."
P: "Oohhh - you don't like girls? Also very many boygirls! Nice boygirls."

At this point I gave up on politeness, turned my back to him and went partying with the local students at some almost tourist free discotheque street intended for rich Thai's.

I can easily recommend that! The service was legendary I tell you. Each table had a personal waiter eagerly filling your table with all sorts of booze without you even asking. No flapping your hands or hanging over the bar desk waiving a dead moose or whatever you normally have to do to get the attention of a bartender. Just a plentiful stream of more than fairly priced alcohol constantly flowing in your direction... SWEET

Female logic

I bet every man knows what I'm talking about. Who hasn't been in the receiving end of a zinger from a women that seals the argument as surely as fire door when the bell rings. Actually it's a rather cunning technique but it does however require the ability shut down the left cerebral hemisphere or otherwise bypass the logic centre in the brain.

The technique itself is quite simple: You disregard whatever rationale and logic the discussion has followed so far with an offhand comment that is so obviously true that the opponent can't disagree. This makes it extremely difficult for them to sport a snappy comeback not to say a moderately eloquent remark. Tadaa - you win! Of course it's not really a victory. More like a surprise ceasefire that enables a quick retreat with a change of topic since everyone knows there is something wrong here but probably can't quite point their finger on what.

This might sound awfully theoretical so here goes a few prime examples I've picked up over the last few of weeks:

1) A couple is walking down the street talking about something in a certain direction.
The woman points and says: "To the left of that man down there". (walking towards them).
Her fiancée: "You're pointing to the right of him".
"Well, isn't that his left!"

2) Along the same lines a man and a woman is talking about a painting of a stern person looking down on the viewer.
She says:"Quite a stunning effect this birds eye view gives".
Him: "Eeerm. That's frogs eye view when we're looking up at him"
Her: "Birds eye view from his perspective!"

3) One of my friends has reviewed and updated his company's project management model based on the maturity of the organisation, critical project execution elements, the typical problems experienced by project managers etc. etc. At some point during his kick-off presentation he mentions the best practices and a female project manager remarks:
"So how are we supposed to improve when we can't learn from our mistakes?"